


Wasn't Talking To Her

by scorchedtitan



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Avoidant Personality Disorder, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8891041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorchedtitan/pseuds/scorchedtitan
Summary: Ash doesn't like talking about his past, but he's gotta own up in an unfortunate situation.





	

It was supposed to be a fairly normal day in class, Lillie had supposed. Kukui had promised them a lesson on some Legendary and Mythical Pokemon. Sophocles was in his seat, arguing with Lana that he had calculated that a Thunder Punch from Groudon could be enough to knock Kyogre flat even despite Kyogre’s bulk and type advantage over the Ground-type Legendary. Mallow was listening intently to her two younger classmates over a bowl of pork dumplings, while Kiawe spaced out into his earphones.

Apparently, no one had told Ash.

So when the newest member of the class entered and saw “Legendary Pokemon vs Mythical Pokemon” written on the board, she was the only one paying enough attention (only one who knew the signs, she corrected internally) to see him stiffen, slightly but visibly. Besides his shoulder, Pikachu pressed his cheek into Ash’s neck and made a small murmur. The trainer shook it off and followed as Rotom-Dex floated further in.

“Alola, Ash,” the blonde girl smiled politely. 

Ash didn’t respond as he took his seat, which prompted another press from Pikachu. He blinked twice in surprise, then smiled widely (a fake smile, she could tell) at Lillie. “Oh, uh, Alola, Lillie!” he said, louder than even what passed for normal for Ash.

Curiouser and curiouser. 

“Alola, class!” Kukui called as he himself entered. The group snapped to attention, Lana and Sophocles stopped their argument, Mallow gulped down the last of her food, Kiawe removed his earphones, and Ash noticeably jumped as he looked forward. 

“Alola!” the class called in unison…and Ash lagged behind once more, his “-lola!” coming out a beat after everyone else’s, but no one paid him any mind but Lillie, who affixed her stare on him. Something was definitely wrong.

Kukui took the greeting as an oppurtunity to start. “Today we’ll be talking about Legendary Pokemon, and the differences between them and Mythical Pokemon. Now, as we all should know, Legendary Pokemon are venerated across the globe, from region to region. Can someone name a Legendary Pokemon supposedly native to Alola?”

Kiawe raised his hand lazily first, and was selected. “Solgaleo.”

Kukui nodded. “Thank you, Kiawe.” Beckoning Rotom-Dex, he had the sentient Pokedex cast a projection of a large, white and yellow Pokemon that somewhat resembled a Pyroar. “Solgaleo is the Sunne Pokemon, and is said to be a manifestation of the Sun itself. Now, who can name the Mythical Pokemon Solgaleo is said to share a typing with?”

Sophocles shot his own hand up. “My cousin Molayne says both Solgaleo and Jirachi are Steel and Psychic types! He’s especially proud ‘cuz Steel’s his favorite, but I don’t see how he can like both when Solgaleo’s obviously better.” Unnoticed by everyone but Lillie once more, Ash was tightening his grip on his pencil. Pikachu looked worried, but not enough to do anything again.

Kukui laughed. “Now, Sophocles, they play very different roles in our ecosystem, if legend is to be believed. But then again, most of us have never left Alola.” He then turned his gaze to Ash. Internally, Lillie got a sudden feeling that what Kukui was about to ask was a very, very bad idea. “Ash, as our resident traveler, have you ever encountered a Legendary or Mythical Pokemon?”

“Pi-kaaaa…” Pikachu suddenly growled, causing everyone but Kiawe’s eyes to widen. The Fire-type trainer simply glanced over the balcony. However, Ash held up a hand to silence his partner.

“I-I’d rather not talk about my old journeys,” he smiled. (Tightly.) “I’m here in Alola to be in Alola, y’know?”

“But you have!” blurted Sophocles immediately, and all eyes were on him. “Don’t think I don’t do my research! You lost your Lily of the Valley Conference semi-finals to a Darkrai and a Latios!’

Pikachu growled once more, taking a battle stance, sparks flying out of its cheeks. Mallow scooted back uneasily. Lana gulped. Kiawe glanced uneasily at Sophocles. Ash grimaced but didn’t say anything. Lillie bit her bottom lip.

“That’s enough, Sophocles. Don’t blurt things out,” Kukui said, trying to diffuse the situation. 

Sophocles scoffed. “Well, I wouldn’t if he didn’t lie. And besides, he was in the Lumiose Conference this past spring. Y’know, during that huge incident with Zyg-”

Ash sprang to his feet and ran for the door, Pikachu shooting Sophocles a nasty glare before running after him. The door of the classroom slammed as Ash departed into the hallway, covering his eyes in a blatant attempt to hide tears. 

Kukui sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb. “Sophocles, please, see me after class. Rotom, stay here.” He walked over to Lillie and whispered. “I think you’d be best for handling this, given your own…issues. Do you mind?”

“Not at all, Professor,” she replied, getting up calmly from her seat. As Kukui turned to the rest of the class in an attempt to get things back on track, she departed out quietly.

Finding Ash wasn’t too hard. He’d found his way out to the balcony overlooking the Tauros track. Pikachu was squeezed tightly in his arms in a way that almost looked painful, but the Electric-type clearly was used to it. Rowlet was standing next to him, cooing softly. Once in a while he’d shake in a sob.

Lillie sat next to him, quiet for a little while. But once she realized he wouldn’t speak like her brother did when she was quiet next to him, she spoke. 

“Is-is it like a trigger for you? What Sophocles was saying?”

Ash turned his head to her slightly, a little amazement and what appeared to be recognition shining in his eyes, before another sob wracked him and he buried his head back in Pikachu, who let out a soft squeak and no more. He composed himself for a second afterwards, biting his bottom lip and looking up out at the track.

“…You know how Kiawe gets into fights with Team Skull?” Ash asked hesitantly. Lillie nodded for him to continue, and he took another breath. “Sometimes, even powerful people, good guys like Kiawe…sometimes they get overpowered by the bad guys.”

Lillie took this in, a mental note she put next to images of her own life. Not too dissimilar. “I’m…aware.”

Ash let out a dry cough. “Well, sometimes other people…people you know are caught in the middle. If, say, Mallow was being attacked by…a Pokemon. A powerful Pokemon. One that could easily beat Bounsweet. Would you be able to overcome your fear of touching them?”

Lillie took a sharp breath. Green eyes and blonde hair flashed through her mind, a sharp sneer. She took a look at Pikachu and noted how…alive he was. Warm. She looked out at the sun across the waves. Beautiful, in a sense. “I…don’t know.”

“I do,” Ash said solemnly. “Sometimes Legendaries and Mythicals…they get angry. And sometimes my friends are caught in the middle. And I…I’ve always got to be the one to protect them. Even if it means…swimming too deep, deep enough where your lungs get tight and even Lana’s Popplio wouldn’t do well. Or climbing to too high an altitude, where Kiawe’s Charizard would be frosting at the tips. Or where someone can…” He let the last part linger. “…But I’ve got to do it. And I’ve gotten better, physically. But parts of it…” He stroked Pikachu, looking for the next words in his mouth. “Parts of it, even Mewtwo couldn’t cure.”

Lillie got the feeling that last part wasn’t a metaphor. She was silent for a time. She wanted to scream her own traumas, wanted to tell him she had felt the same for some two years now consistently, but all that came out was a simple “okay”. Rowlet tried to edge towards her, but she inched away.

Ash chuckled at that. “I guess, yeah, it was like a trigger. Made me feel like I was tied up.”

She nodded, standing up. “Are you ready to come back to class? I think the main lesson’s over by now, and it’s just status condition review. I can get the notes for the lesson from the Professor for you, if you need.”

Ash hugged Pikachu with one arm and laid his other hand on Rowlet’s head, giving it a gentle rub the Grass Quill Pokemon eagerly accepted. He hummed for a few seconds, before deciding. “I think…I’ll take a break. Sometimes…sometimes even the best need a break.”

Somehow, Lillie knew he wasn’t talking to her.


End file.
